Courageous Civility And The Power Of The Upstander

Memories are not always positive, however, we can leverage them to drive positive change. Our memories of the death of George Floyd and verdict regarding Derek Chauvin’s trial will remain imprinted on our hearts. Our memories of the current attacks against Asian Americans will remain top of our mind. My personal memories of my best friends crying in pain over the inequities and danger they face in this world because of the color of their skin will always sit with me. These memories serve as our fuel to do the right thing instead of closing a door or turning away when victims of discrimination or hate crimes need us most. Fortunately, we can learn to activate our Courageous Civility to ensure we are upstanders, rather than bystanders, in times of injustice. This is an important shift from a mindset of positive intention to powerful action.

In the midst of the injustices happening around the globe, this is important because once we can give ourselves permission to prioritize what matters most to us personally, we can unapologetically take the time, effort and action to advocate for others. For example, while we have experienced progress in becoming more aware of these attacks on our very humanity, the importance of moving from a knowledgeable, supportive bystander to a courageous upstander is becoming more of a priority for our world and may be exactly what we choose to prioritize because it matters to us. In fact, I believe that this is a critical next step for our humanity.

We All Need To Step Up To The Challenge Of Change

I have seen progress with the empowerment of our BIPOC (Black, Indigenous, People of Color) community to stand up and drive positive change. However, we are not moving fast enough. We need to do more. In addition, I am seeing the exhaustion of our BIPOC community to bear both the pain of negative bias and the primary responsibility of ending it by educating the uninformed or inexperienced. We all need to step up, even when it is hard, because it will take all of us to make the change that our world so desperately needs.

“Go first” has been, and continues to be, a message that we at UpSpiral Leadership® strive to spread. It is a powerful statement especially for today’s world, but who should “go first” in the case of educating and taking action to end racial inequity? The answer is all of us.

For many who are not part of the BIPOC community, going first can be hard. Partially because we may have a belief that our allyship will in some way negatively shadow our own reputations (for example: friends may see our activism as preachy or annoying, but this comes from a lack of experience, understanding and fear). We might also believe, and with good intention, that simply uplifting and supporting members of the BIPOC community is effort enough. Our discomfort and good intentions are not enough to stop here. We owe it to our BIPOC neighbors to be courageous upstanders and to make more significant, overdue changes, even when it is hard. 

How To Be An Upstander By Activating Courageous Civility

So how can we all, as allies, move from mindset to action? Here are four suggestions for activating Courageous Civility to become courageous upstanders:

1. Bravely Speak Out in your organization when you witness negative bias or racism. Stand up to policies, procedures or other people that may not be supporting a culture of inclusion. Create awareness and influence positive change.

2. Become a Stronger Ally to someone who often feels part of a minority. Seek to better understand their perspectives, their strengths and their aspirations so you can acknowledge their worth, support their sense of belonging and create space (take action) for their opportunity to thrive.

3. Practice Self-Empathy and Forgiveness by allowing yourself to prioritize global issues that move your moral compass toward a greater good for all. Once we stop feeling guilty for choosing one priority over another or not taking action in the past, we can make bold moves to do so going forward.

4. Take Action that fosters a culture of safety, inclusion and belonging. Create awareness in your team around the negative effects of unconscious bias and microaggressions. Share the positive impact of micro-affirmations and power of pulling everyone in to be more inclusive. Examples of how to do this include sharing literature and media with your team in relation to inequality and injustice, then talking about them as a group, diversifying your hiring pools, hosting interns from programs that promote diversity, expanding your circle of trust in an effort to truly know others different from you, and bringing a colleague to a diverse networking or learning event.

Shifting mindset into bold action may be uncomfortable at first, but the discomfort we may experience pales in comparison to the pain experienced by victims of negative bias. As we begin to stand up in a courageously civil manner, our influence will make a noticeable difference and the resulting enlightenment will be totally worth it.

Throughout this process, remember that the power of forgiveness toward ourselves and others creates freedom and capacity, removes division, allows others to feel seen and heard and gives us a stepping stone to move forward together. Go first and own your turn. Only then will we make the progress our fellow citizens of the world deserve. Only then will we realize the power of humanity.

UpSpiral Leadership® activates the Courageous Civility and bold action within leaders at every level.

Give us a call to see how: Schedule a discovery call today.